:: From the bottom of my heart ::

I feel like life these days is beyond words can even say.

To put it in a nutshell... Im thankful.

I never knew life & love could be so amazing. =]

<3 <3 <3

It's been a long time coming...

So, I haven't posted anything for a while now...

Let me just say, it's been because life has been crazy exciting and busy! :)

I couldn't ask for a single thing more... And I never knew I could be so happy, without a care in the world. [My.heart.full.and.whole...]

God introduced me to the single-most amazing man on the planet. Im not talking the typical guy that "knows what to say" and "buys your affection" for a short while... Or the kind of guy that makes up about 90% of the male population and ruin the name of the few good guys left out there. Im talking... the sweep-you-off-your-feet amazing guy!

You know how when you're young [at least every little girl does this]... You come up with a list of qualities and characteristics you want in a significant other! Even then, I sometimes would get so discouraged in relationships or even dating and would second guess myself, thinking that I was simply settling... So, I'd literally write down everything I wanted and expected out of the person I'd spend the rest of my life with... Then, sure enough, I'd find that I truly was settling for something I longed to have, but hadn't found!

Well, I started thinking... this guy doesn't even exist. So, I got to the point where my prayers simply asked God to please take AWAY the such-strong-ridiculously-heartwrenching desires of having a husband and creating an amazing family...

It was as if God was waiting for just those emotions from my heart. Me knowing I could do it alone, if need be... But realizing the desires in my heart were put there by God, and God alone... And no one, but He could take them away [if they weren't supposed to be there].

Needless to say, Ive got an amazing boyfriend... In my eyes, he is complete perfection & I thank God for him on an almost hourly basis... Haha. Really though.

Fortunately, Ive been able to spend the entire month with Josh in Tennessee before my exciting, oh-so-awesome internship starts. I get to start working as a student nurse, doing everything that a nurse gets to do... And finally making BANK. :) Yayaya!

[Oh, and have I mentioned I have the most amazingly, fabulous dog on the planet!]

Well, until next time,
XoXoXo

*It's times like these... where we're able to look back and make sense of everything from our pasts! Everything happens for a reason. And He always has a plan!*

::This Is What I Always Dreamed::

I know things have been downright crazy busy lately, but whats important is that everyone has so many good things going on in their lives right now. Lately, some things have been going on - things I never thought that Id have to face again... & feelings that I never thought Id have to face for even another single moment in my life. By going through all this, Ive realized just how much it is that Ive changed... So much about myself has changed without me even trying or thinking about it. Ive just learned more than I ever thought posible about life... My mind is just boggled by people that stress everyday about things beyond their control. But I was reminded last week... I used to be like that! Say whaaaaaaat? I nearly forgot all about that! I havent stressed over anything in awhile & quite frankly, Ive never enjoyed and loved life so much! Ive never been soooo carefree and honestly happy - downright ecstatic to just wake up & be ME! Wow, God has blessed ALL of us more than ANY OF US deserve. Dont ever forget that things could ALWAYS be worse... So enjoy the gift Gods given us. =)

::A little somethin, somethin about me::

*Alright, alright... So I was tagged quite a few times for this whole "25 Random Facts About Me." on Facebook && I pretty much decided I had nothing better to do for 15 minutes than watch abc.com and write some things about myself & post em on my blog too! Soooooo, here goes yo...

1) I learned of my passion for nursing while taking care of my grandparents the last few years of their lives. :) [Not a day goes by that they dont cross my mind time&time again.] I HAD THE GREATEST GRANDPARENTS IN THE UNIVERSE! =)

2) I dont have cable... So, abc.com is my one true addiction: Desperate Housewives, Greys, Bachelor, Brothers & Sisters, Private Practice, True Beauty... \\Im lame, I know this.\\

3) My newest addiction: One Tree Hill, baby.

4) I love eating the popcorn kernels that are slightly cracked open, but havent popped yet! Haha.

5) Guilty: Im a SPEEDER! Opppsie.

6) I have the most amazing friends in the world. I can count OVER 20 people that I can completely depend on with everything that I have. && they all mean ::mucho::

7) I would probably die without Olive Garden, 54th street, FAST EDDIES, && Bwws. [[No foolin]]

8) I'd be lost without church. & this year Ive found the most amazing church yet! =) Yah!

9) I've danced since age 4. =) Just part of being me! I miss all those crazy competitions & traveling all over creation with some of my besties!

10) The areas Im the most confident in: DANCE & NURSING && kickin tush, speakin out [Bahaha] & having an amazing future ahead.

11) I absolutely love where Im at in my life... & love the unknown, BUT knowing its gonna take me somewhere && take me far.

12) Music is my everything. My ipod has the most random 5,000 songs on it! Ahahaha.

13) I might have OCD when it comes to cleaning... If only I had more time.

14) Things that always brighten my day: scripture, church, prayer, dancin it all out, reading, driving around, SHOPPING, & VOLUNTEERING!

15) I love, love, love to read... Anything & everything (besides nursing textbooks.... Lol).

16) I worked as a CNA for almost 4 years... & I love the elderly [[They make some of the greatest friends.]] --> Having a job your proud of... is amazing.

17) I LOVE ANIMALS! [[Particularly, dogs, penguins, & horses.]]

18) I am very outspoken. Uh oh! & probably the MOST SPONTANEOUS person you will ever meet. I live for last minute trips & adventures!

19) The gym gets out all my aggression! =) I try to go daily...

20) I love a good thunderstorm :all day & all night:

21) I say a prayer every morning I wake up! :)

22) A visit to the zoo can cure any problem!

23) My mom & I butt heads more than anyone I know, but Id be lost without her. & my dad is my hero.

24) I believe I went through one of the hardest times in my life to help me grow as a person, gain strength, gain another best friend, && ::most importantly:: help others get through it!

25) I am smiling & laughing & talking way too much 98% of the time! Ahahahaha... I apologize in advance! [Really, just tell me to shut up!]

..x.God give me a moment's grace.x..

So much going on anymore, but so much to be thankful for & excited about. [Nursing school, volunteering - crisis nursery center & hospice, family, friends, fun in stl, random sledding til 5am, graduation in three semesters, the "real world", so many opportunities - in the area & in the field.]

Life's a busy place these days - but I learned a long time ago that stress is unwanted and without a doubt NOT necessary [to say the least]...

Idk. Ive found myself advising others a lot lately to "live for the moment." A long time ago, I was a planner. I wanted to be engaged by this age for this long, a job at this age, marriage at this time, kids by this time... work here, do this, have that. Well you know what, thats ludacris, unrealistic, and most importantly... BORING!

Sometimes its hard to realize, but life keeps happening while we're busy wasting it, planning our lives out. Everything will work out the way its supposed to, when its supposed to... It will fall into place.

It's just nice to be content... more like ecstatic... to have no idea what is going to happen, but to know it's gonna be wonderful. This future, my future... will be better than even I could have dreamed or even planned out. =)

Who would have imagined so much of who I used to be is so different than who I am now... But I guess we all grow up! && when we grow for the better, we can be proud of the changes we've made, the things we've accomplished [& will in the future], and the strength//happiness within us!

<3

-- Simply Disconnected --

Dont have the time or energy to go into any detail these days, but tonight... the only way to describe how I feel is by using the word disconnected.

Have you ever felt like you were lacking a something vital that most others out there have.

Just some days I wonder, why && If you knew from the beginning that Id never even be good enough? Why you put on the smile for everyone else, but never make me feel worthy. Never open up & let me in & deal with the fact that Im my own person & very opinionated. && sometimes, downright ignore everything Im saying...

Is that what you want? Because sadly, Im stronger than even I thought possible && I know in the end youll beat yourself up for all the downfalls... But Ive tried time & time again. I wanna be civil & actually refuse to be anything but that... So until then, Im done pretending.

I guess its just, I keep asking God where I go wrong.... My prayers end up in me begging Him to show me what it is that I need to do differently... But only time will tell.

I just, wow, feel more disconnected after tonight... Than I ever have in my life. [But itll be over soon because Gods blessed me with amazing friends & I thank Him for them everyday!]

Until next time,
xoxo lost&confused.

..::Just Some People I am Thankful For::..

Thanks to all my friends here, there, & in between. I owe you all the world!

<3 Jordan

There's Something About This Time of Year

So, I noticed yesterday how beautiful the roads are at night when theyre covered with rain. I know it sounds meaningless, but I really felt God's presence. How can people not look around and give God the credit for all the beauty... I guess sometimes it escapes my mind as well - I just miss having my grandpa tell me everyday how I need to count my blessings. Idk. I know Im rambling for the sake of nothing, but I miss my grandparents miserably some days. Its sooo comforting knowing theyre in such a better place and free of any pain. However, I believe its sometimes human to be selfish with others. Let me say, my grandparents meant more to me than anyone... They love, wisdom, and courage set standards in my life that will be hard to meet but will never allow me to settle. I must say, I should thank God more often for putting such beautiful people in my life. I talked to my grandparents about anything and everything, and my gramps always knew just what to say. I know, deep down, my grandma would have been saying the same things - maybe a little bit sterner though. :)



This time of year usually fills my heart with something so hard to explain - a little bit of love and pride, of thankfulness and giving, of selflessness, and more compassion than imaginable. Ive tried to conquer many things just within the past year - one of which being more thankful and appreciative, but also standing up for myself & being happy about the person that Im becoming... Well, Ive accomplished a lot, as have many of my friends. But I know I wouldnt be where I am today without my amazing friends and family that have pulled me through when I didnt think I could stand it any longer. I guess the thing Ive learned this year is that... Life really is what you make it, and dwelling on the past will get you no where!



So, at this time I ask that everyone look around them and really open up their eyes to all that they should be thankful for!



<3 J Leigh

And This Time's Different

Oh my goodness. I woke up at 5am this morning. No joke. I think everyone thought I was upset or dead - seeing as how I woke up to 18 text messages and 9 missed calls. Sooooo, sorry for the worries. Needless to say, after a longggg day at the hospital, I came home, did homework and PASSED OUT at 7:30pm. Hahaha. Passed out cold. I was thinking a nap, but my body was thinking a little more like NIGHT TIME. Haha. I love it! Anyways, I woke up early to start my day, and Im thinking this is a really great habit I need to start getting into. Im used to waking up "early", but not this early. And I love it! What a jump on the day. =)

Enough about that... You know what I did at the hospital yesterday... NOTHING NEW. Youd think thatd leave me all upset - NOPE. I couldnt have been happier. I literally played with, held, changed and fed 14 different babies yesterday. It was like being a momma all day! And I was loving it. I came home & really feel bad for my friends and fam. Hahaha... they have to keep telling me, "Jordan Leigh, you do not want a kid right now..." Hahahaha. Of course not til after Im married, but the way I see it thatll never happen anyways.. SOOOOOO... I should adopt while Im young. Hahahaha. If only I could. I will never understand an atheist or agnostic... Hello... HAVE YOU SEEN A BABY! Just looking at its precious face and little teeny, tiny toes is enough for me to walk outside screaming praises to GOD for being ALIVE and for all his little miracles everyday! Oh, and especially after you watch a birth... NO DOUBTS in God Almighty!

Oh, and the Dance Team this year - will be AMAZING and thats all there is to it! Yeah, I for sure love all the girls, and we have a squad full of talent with some FANTASTIC fundraising ideas that will get our name out there! I cannot wait to see what this year will hold. =) Ive already made some even MORE awesome friends.

Ok, about my momma... Were all still disappointed about everything that has happened and the mistakes made. Fortunately, we know that something good came from it, whether we can see it or not. Somewhere along the line, it was a learning experience for SOMEONE! And thats fine with us. Here in the next two weeks though, my mom goes in for another scope... So PLEASE PRAY hard that a miracle happened somewhere along the line, and the cancer is GONE! Because this world wouldnt know what to do without my mom running around a mile a minute, taking charge, and being the big boss lady. =)

And I know I say this all too often, but my friends... well the amount continues to grow everyday, I know so many amazing people that I dont even know what to do with... But I thank God for them daily. So many amazing people have shown me SO much just in the past year. Ive grown and matured more than I ever thought possible... And I wouldnt be the person I am today without all their insights and smiling faces! Thank you ALL! And its amazing what God can show you when you least expect it... Youre worst enemy can turn into some thing more... I see it on a daily basis, and I think it's God showing us that were more capable than we give ourselves credit for.

Alright, time to get started on homework.. in the DARK.... I love it. Actually, Im gonna take a run first... Then Im in for the kill. I wish everyone a BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING Tuesday! And please let me know if you need anything - even if its simply a prayer request!

I Want You But Im Not Giving In This Time

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to I
still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
but it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
We the stars fall and I lie awake
Your my shooting star