I Am ----->

.....

needing more guidance than I ever thought possible. I really dont know what to do or say anymore, or even how to go about saying it....or getting my point across. Truth is...sometimes I feel like I really know what God is doing in my life, and other days Im wondering what I did to be in the position Im in. I know, I know...people think that sitting on the outside looking in...things are cut and dry, black and white. But in my life, its a mess of a whirlwind...a roller coaster that goes down more often than it goes up....Really youd think I was far below sea level, fighting my way back to the top, struggling for any bit of breathe that I could get. Most of the time I feel like I just need someone to reach out, grab me and pull me up. Make me have motivation, make me see that this isnt the life I was intended for. But I guess thats a whole nother test in itself - fighting for what I believe in, what I want, and what I know is meant for my life. Some days the motivation and strength are there without asking, without being forced, but other times, Im lost and struggling and wondering how everyone else makes it look so incredibly easy. There are things I need to change, need to work on...to become the person that I want to be and know Ill become. But thats like anyones life, right? Making improvements, changes, sacrifices. All I know is what my heart tells me all day long, before I go to sleep at night, and first thing when I wake up. Its love...maybe thats the most important thing in the universe. I mean, thats pretty much what I think anyways. But love is hard, love is a struggle, love takes work. The thing is...youve gotta find that person that is worth fighting for, that the good is worth the bad, the one...the only one. Well, I suppose Im trying to say that "Im in"...count me in. Im a girl that cant help but know what I want and how I feel. Things were amazing for so long for a reason. I was blessed beyond all recognition! And well, anything important enough...is always worth fighting for. And when two people fight for each other....against all odds...whats supposed to happen, will happen. As long as things have been let go, given over to God, and all hurt has been released. A fresh start for something a long time coming... <3 Its your love, it just does something to me...