Great song & wonderful lyrics! We all need to remember... Relationships change with people, friends, significant others... & sometimes death takes our loved ones from us until we're able to see them again down the road! No matter the case - never forget what all has brought you to where you are & all the people that have helped shaped you into the person you've become... Even all the amazing people that are no longer on this Earth... [Please Remember!]
Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And your left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me
Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time
We'll never know again
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
And remember, please remember me
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
And remember, please remember me
And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
And I had you and you had me
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Another sad story, but this time it'll have a happy ending...
Sometimes it's so hard to not focus on the bigger picture in life. When everything seems to be crashing down only because of one horrible situation... Needless to say, I've let the anxiety & depression get the best of me... All from being harassed. I tried acting like it didnt get to me, but let me tell you, it's not easy to pretend life is just grand when a few select people wake up everyday and have every intention to do whatever it is they can to ruin your life and bring you down in every way possible.
I guess I just have sucked it up for so long and held it all in that it started affecting my personality, friendships, and relationships. No one has deserved a single bit of my stresses to be brought upon them, and if it has... I am beyond terribly sorry. My tears are done... Why give people like that what they want? And whats more, what does it say about you if you get joy in being so cruel and making others cry? Idk.
Needless to say, I've sucked it up for so long... And started to let it suck some of the life out of me. But God is soooo good! I've finally talked to the right people & found out all my options... So if the deleting and blocking isnt enough of a hint... Then, I guess I will finally have to do something about all this. I just hate how pathetic it will make me look having to take action. But enough is enough. And all the instructors said it best... this harassment has gone on for way too long, another five months could drive me crazy. I cant suck it up anymore... simply because I shouldnt have to. We're not in middle school anymore.
I guess Im just venting and apologizing for not doing anything sooner... When every single person has been subjected to it all. Having to see and hear it all first hand...
On another note, I havent seen Joshua in ages & it's about to drive me mad... Haha. Talking on the phone just isnt enough sometimes. But boy am I oh so thankful for all that's been given to me this year.
I hope everyone has been doing amazing! [Church is great, my friends are freaking fabulous, Josh's church & family amaze me more every day, my younger brother brings tears to my eyes for how intelligent and how wise he is beyond his years, my parents are so understanding and always looking out for my best interests, and Joshua treats me better than I ever knew was possible for a man! ;) Life is amazing - I pray it is for each & every one of you as well!!! And I pray, unlike me, you remain so so thankful for the good in your life & NEVER let the bad things or sad people get the best of you!!!] <3
Until next time, sweet dreams, best wishes, & Merry Christmas!
I guess I just have sucked it up for so long and held it all in that it started affecting my personality, friendships, and relationships. No one has deserved a single bit of my stresses to be brought upon them, and if it has... I am beyond terribly sorry. My tears are done... Why give people like that what they want? And whats more, what does it say about you if you get joy in being so cruel and making others cry? Idk.
Needless to say, I've sucked it up for so long... And started to let it suck some of the life out of me. But God is soooo good! I've finally talked to the right people & found out all my options... So if the deleting and blocking isnt enough of a hint... Then, I guess I will finally have to do something about all this. I just hate how pathetic it will make me look having to take action. But enough is enough. And all the instructors said it best... this harassment has gone on for way too long, another five months could drive me crazy. I cant suck it up anymore... simply because I shouldnt have to. We're not in middle school anymore.
I guess Im just venting and apologizing for not doing anything sooner... When every single person has been subjected to it all. Having to see and hear it all first hand...
On another note, I havent seen Joshua in ages & it's about to drive me mad... Haha. Talking on the phone just isnt enough sometimes. But boy am I oh so thankful for all that's been given to me this year.
I hope everyone has been doing amazing! [Church is great, my friends are freaking fabulous, Josh's church & family amaze me more every day, my younger brother brings tears to my eyes for how intelligent and how wise he is beyond his years, my parents are so understanding and always looking out for my best interests, and Joshua treats me better than I ever knew was possible for a man! ;) Life is amazing - I pray it is for each & every one of you as well!!! And I pray, unlike me, you remain so so thankful for the good in your life & NEVER let the bad things or sad people get the best of you!!!] <3
Until next time, sweet dreams, best wishes, & Merry Christmas!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
T.H.A.N.K.F.U.L
It's finally Thanksgiving week! [I say finally, but this year has literally flown by in the blink of an eye!] What an amazing time of year though - Christmas music, happy people, shopping for gifts, etc.
I just wanted to take a second to remind myself of everything Im beyond thankful for! [In no particular order!]
-My family that supports my every decision & has helped me through so much!
-My amazing fiance that treats me better than I ever knew possible.
-My puppy... He's always by my side. His unconditional love amazes me.
-My cousins! [more like my siblings]
-All my awesome aunts & uncles... They have such amazing hearts & so many talents.
-My friends that have stuck with me through it all!
-My bridesmaids. [I know it sounds lame, but they make my wedding planning even MORE enjoyable! So helpful & fun, they make me feel that much more important!]
-My parents that have always done everything they can to help me.
-My grandparents in Heaven! [They were all such amazing witnesses & displayed true love!]
-My grandpa [He's come so far!]
-The lessons I've learned in the past few months... [Well past three years.]
-Being able to see the reasons for many of the hardships I've endured in my past.
-My faith & my gracious God! [I've learned so much & finally proud of where I stand...]
-My health [I may be out of shape, but it's amazing anymore to just be healthy in this world!]
-Our home videos! [Im sitting here watching them with my brother - How awesome to have videos of us growing up and all our family and amazing memories of our grandparents!]
-Technology [I know that seems pathetic, but where would we be without our email and google!]
-Pictures... I will always have a camera attached to my hand.
-My education. [I know I knock it sometimes, but we know so much more than we give ourselves credit for - What a great future!]
-My internship this summer - I had so many awesome experiences! And so many firsts. [NG tubes like crazy, blood draws, IVs, catheters... We saw & did it all!]
The list could go on forever, but Im gonna help clean up around the house before Joshua gets here... I cant wait. How pathetic it sounds, but I've never been so excited to see someone in my life! It's been a miserable two weeks, but the worst is OVER! :)
I hope everyone has an amazing time of relaxation and lots of love & family!
<3
Happy [early] Thanksgiving!
I just wanted to take a second to remind myself of everything Im beyond thankful for! [In no particular order!]
-My family that supports my every decision & has helped me through so much!
-My amazing fiance that treats me better than I ever knew possible.
-My puppy... He's always by my side. His unconditional love amazes me.
-My cousins! [more like my siblings]
-All my awesome aunts & uncles... They have such amazing hearts & so many talents.
-My friends that have stuck with me through it all!
-My bridesmaids. [I know it sounds lame, but they make my wedding planning even MORE enjoyable! So helpful & fun, they make me feel that much more important!]
-My parents that have always done everything they can to help me.
-My grandparents in Heaven! [They were all such amazing witnesses & displayed true love!]
-My grandpa [He's come so far!]
-The lessons I've learned in the past few months... [Well past three years.]
-Being able to see the reasons for many of the hardships I've endured in my past.
-My faith & my gracious God! [I've learned so much & finally proud of where I stand...]
-My health [I may be out of shape, but it's amazing anymore to just be healthy in this world!]
-Our home videos! [Im sitting here watching them with my brother - How awesome to have videos of us growing up and all our family and amazing memories of our grandparents!]
-Technology [I know that seems pathetic, but where would we be without our email and google!]
-Pictures... I will always have a camera attached to my hand.
-My education. [I know I knock it sometimes, but we know so much more than we give ourselves credit for - What a great future!]
-My internship this summer - I had so many awesome experiences! And so many firsts. [NG tubes like crazy, blood draws, IVs, catheters... We saw & did it all!]
The list could go on forever, but Im gonna help clean up around the house before Joshua gets here... I cant wait. How pathetic it sounds, but I've never been so excited to see someone in my life! It's been a miserable two weeks, but the worst is OVER! :)
I hope everyone has an amazing time of relaxation and lots of love & family!
<3
Happy [early] Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A Little Bit of Everything Wrapped Into One*
It's my favorite time of year again, and this year I can actually see everything I am thankful for surrounding me. Im so grateful for the amazing people I have in my life & for the ones that I've loved and lost [It happens - certain people will always come & go, it's just important to remember there's a purpose for everything & everyone in your life!].
So, I haven't blogged in ages & felt like it would be nice to start up again. Im too busy to write, but have so much going through my head these days that it's always nice to have expression through words.
With everything that's been going on, I've been rather stressed. I would say that I've handled everything well, but I think it's more that I've tried to look like I've handled it all well... Unfortunately, I let some things hurt me even when they are said by people out of anger or are completely unmerited. Lately, Ive been wondering how many other people are going through the same sort of hardships... My heart has been broken for them all. Sadly, I've been so focused on myself and how I've been attacked and hurt - that it took me awhile to see the bigger picture. Ill live! And you will too! Don't let anyone bring you down, try to hurt you with your past, or make wrongful accusations about your present and future. Only YOU [and God] know your heart [and that's all that matters!]
Most importantly, this is the time of year to really be thankful [of course, we should be thankful everyday, but lets make use of the time we've been given!] Now Im trying to listen to my own advice here because I know how much it is easier said than done... But it's all about being thankful for everything! Not just the obvious fiance, friends, family, God, puppy, but also for the lessons we've learned in the past year. [For me, it's more like the past 3 years.] I've screwed up more than I'd like to admit, trusted the wrong people, befriended some of the wrong people, said the wrong things, did some wrong things, hurt a few people while trying to make changes, been selfish, and focused on everything I shouldn't have...
Needless to say, every single person in the world has regrets about their past, times that they haven't been proud... It's what you make of it. Im not a better person now... Im not perfect... And Ill still always screw up over things I shouldn't, but my whole is whole & Im right where I should be! It's about being proud and knowing your living for the One and only that matters! How awesome to think about...
Anyway, life's great!
The bottom line, I think people need to focus on their own lives and be happy for what they've been given! How can you judge other people when you don't know their heart, their past, or their present. One of my favorite quotes goes something like this: "Be nice to everyone you meet because they're fighting a battle you know nothing about!" How true... Even with our closest friends... There are so many things on every one's minds... Things we may not even know about.
Think about it!
So, I haven't blogged in ages & felt like it would be nice to start up again. Im too busy to write, but have so much going through my head these days that it's always nice to have expression through words.
With everything that's been going on, I've been rather stressed. I would say that I've handled everything well, but I think it's more that I've tried to look like I've handled it all well... Unfortunately, I let some things hurt me even when they are said by people out of anger or are completely unmerited. Lately, Ive been wondering how many other people are going through the same sort of hardships... My heart has been broken for them all. Sadly, I've been so focused on myself and how I've been attacked and hurt - that it took me awhile to see the bigger picture. Ill live! And you will too! Don't let anyone bring you down, try to hurt you with your past, or make wrongful accusations about your present and future. Only YOU [and God] know your heart [and that's all that matters!]
Most importantly, this is the time of year to really be thankful [of course, we should be thankful everyday, but lets make use of the time we've been given!] Now Im trying to listen to my own advice here because I know how much it is easier said than done... But it's all about being thankful for everything! Not just the obvious fiance, friends, family, God, puppy, but also for the lessons we've learned in the past year. [For me, it's more like the past 3 years.] I've screwed up more than I'd like to admit, trusted the wrong people, befriended some of the wrong people, said the wrong things, did some wrong things, hurt a few people while trying to make changes, been selfish, and focused on everything I shouldn't have...
Needless to say, every single person in the world has regrets about their past, times that they haven't been proud... It's what you make of it. Im not a better person now... Im not perfect... And Ill still always screw up over things I shouldn't, but my whole is whole & Im right where I should be! It's about being proud and knowing your living for the One and only that matters! How awesome to think about...
Anyway, life's great!
The bottom line, I think people need to focus on their own lives and be happy for what they've been given! How can you judge other people when you don't know their heart, their past, or their present. One of my favorite quotes goes something like this: "Be nice to everyone you meet because they're fighting a battle you know nothing about!" How true... Even with our closest friends... There are so many things on every one's minds... Things we may not even know about.
Think about it!
Friday, July 24, 2009
:: From the bottom of my heart ::
I feel like life these days is beyond words can even say.
To put it in a nutshell... Im thankful.
I never knew life & love could be so amazing. =]
<3 <3 <3
To put it in a nutshell... Im thankful.
I never knew life & love could be so amazing. =]
<3 <3 <3
Friday, June 12, 2009
It's been a long time coming...
So, I haven't posted anything for a while now...
Let me just say, it's been because life has been crazy exciting and busy! :)
I couldn't ask for a single thing more... And I never knew I could be so happy, without a care in the world. [My.heart.full.and.whole...]
God introduced me to the single-most amazing man on the planet. Im not talking the typical guy that "knows what to say" and "buys your affection" for a short while... Or the kind of guy that makes up about 90% of the male population and ruin the name of the few good guys left out there. Im talking... the sweep-you-off-your-feet amazing guy!
You know how when you're young [at least every little girl does this]... You come up with a list of qualities and characteristics you want in a significant other! Even then, I sometimes would get so discouraged in relationships or even dating and would second guess myself, thinking that I was simply settling... So, I'd literally write down everything I wanted and expected out of the person I'd spend the rest of my life with... Then, sure enough, I'd find that I truly was settling for something I longed to have, but hadn't found!
Well, I started thinking... this guy doesn't even exist. So, I got to the point where my prayers simply asked God to please take AWAY the such-strong-ridiculously-heartwrenching desires of having a husband and creating an amazing family...
It was as if God was waiting for just those emotions from my heart. Me knowing I could do it alone, if need be... But realizing the desires in my heart were put there by God, and God alone... And no one, but He could take them away [if they weren't supposed to be there].
Needless to say, Ive got an amazing boyfriend... In my eyes, he is complete perfection & I thank God for him on an almost hourly basis... Haha. Really though.
Fortunately, Ive been able to spend the entire month with Josh in Tennessee before my exciting, oh-so-awesome internship starts. I get to start working as a student nurse, doing everything that a nurse gets to do... And finally making BANK. :) Yayaya!
[Oh, and have I mentioned I have the most amazingly, fabulous dog on the planet!]
Well, until next time,
XoXoXo
*It's times like these... where we're able to look back and make sense of everything from our pasts! Everything happens for a reason. And He always has a plan!*
Let me just say, it's been because life has been crazy exciting and busy! :)
I couldn't ask for a single thing more... And I never knew I could be so happy, without a care in the world. [My.heart.full.and.whole...]
God introduced me to the single-most amazing man on the planet. Im not talking the typical guy that "knows what to say" and "buys your affection" for a short while... Or the kind of guy that makes up about 90% of the male population and ruin the name of the few good guys left out there. Im talking... the sweep-you-off-your-feet amazing guy!
You know how when you're young [at least every little girl does this]... You come up with a list of qualities and characteristics you want in a significant other! Even then, I sometimes would get so discouraged in relationships or even dating and would second guess myself, thinking that I was simply settling... So, I'd literally write down everything I wanted and expected out of the person I'd spend the rest of my life with... Then, sure enough, I'd find that I truly was settling for something I longed to have, but hadn't found!
Well, I started thinking... this guy doesn't even exist. So, I got to the point where my prayers simply asked God to please take AWAY the such-strong-ridiculously-heartwrenching desires of having a husband and creating an amazing family...
It was as if God was waiting for just those emotions from my heart. Me knowing I could do it alone, if need be... But realizing the desires in my heart were put there by God, and God alone... And no one, but He could take them away [if they weren't supposed to be there].
Needless to say, Ive got an amazing boyfriend... In my eyes, he is complete perfection & I thank God for him on an almost hourly basis... Haha. Really though.
Fortunately, Ive been able to spend the entire month with Josh in Tennessee before my exciting, oh-so-awesome internship starts. I get to start working as a student nurse, doing everything that a nurse gets to do... And finally making BANK. :) Yayaya!
[Oh, and have I mentioned I have the most amazingly, fabulous dog on the planet!]
Well, until next time,
XoXoXo
*It's times like these... where we're able to look back and make sense of everything from our pasts! Everything happens for a reason. And He always has a plan!*
Monday, March 16, 2009
::This Is What I Always Dreamed::
I know things have been downright crazy busy lately, but whats important is that everyone has so many good things going on in their lives right now. Lately, some things have been going on - things I never thought that Id have to face again... & feelings that I never thought Id have to face for even another single moment in my life. By going through all this, Ive realized just how much it is that Ive changed... So much about myself has changed without me even trying or thinking about it. Ive just learned more than I ever thought posible about life... My mind is just boggled by people that stress everyday about things beyond their control. But I was reminded last week... I used to be like that! Say whaaaaaaat? I nearly forgot all about that! I havent stressed over anything in awhile & quite frankly, Ive never enjoyed and loved life so much! Ive never been soooo carefree and honestly happy - downright ecstatic to just wake up & be ME! Wow, God has blessed ALL of us more than ANY OF US deserve. Dont ever forget that things could ALWAYS be worse... So enjoy the gift Gods given us. =)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
::A little somethin, somethin about me::
*Alright, alright... So I was tagged quite a few times for this whole "25 Random Facts About Me." on Facebook && I pretty much decided I had nothing better to do for 15 minutes than watch abc.com and write some things about myself & post em on my blog too! Soooooo, here goes yo...
1) I learned of my passion for nursing while taking care of my grandparents the last few years of their lives. :) [Not a day goes by that they dont cross my mind time&time again.] I HAD THE GREATEST GRANDPARENTS IN THE UNIVERSE! =)
2) I dont have cable... So, abc.com is my one true addiction: Desperate Housewives, Greys, Bachelor, Brothers & Sisters, Private Practice, True Beauty... \\Im lame, I know this.\\
3) My newest addiction: One Tree Hill, baby.
4) I love eating the popcorn kernels that are slightly cracked open, but havent popped yet! Haha.
5) Guilty: Im a SPEEDER! Opppsie.
6) I have the most amazing friends in the world. I can count OVER 20 people that I can completely depend on with everything that I have. && they all mean ::mucho::
7) I would probably die without Olive Garden, 54th street, FAST EDDIES, && Bwws. [[No foolin]]
8) I'd be lost without church. & this year Ive found the most amazing church yet! =) Yah!
9) I've danced since age 4. =) Just part of being me! I miss all those crazy competitions & traveling all over creation with some of my besties!
10) The areas Im the most confident in: DANCE & NURSING && kickin tush, speakin out [Bahaha] & having an amazing future ahead.
11) I absolutely love where Im at in my life... & love the unknown, BUT knowing its gonna take me somewhere && take me far.
12) Music is my everything. My ipod has the most random 5,000 songs on it! Ahahaha.
13) I might have OCD when it comes to cleaning... If only I had more time.
14) Things that always brighten my day: scripture, church, prayer, dancin it all out, reading, driving around, SHOPPING, & VOLUNTEERING!
15) I love, love, love to read... Anything & everything (besides nursing textbooks.... Lol).
16) I worked as a CNA for almost 4 years... & I love the elderly [[They make some of the greatest friends.]] --> Having a job your proud of... is amazing.
17) I LOVE ANIMALS! [[Particularly, dogs, penguins, & horses.]]
18) I am very outspoken. Uh oh! & probably the MOST SPONTANEOUS person you will ever meet. I live for last minute trips & adventures!
19) The gym gets out all my aggression! =) I try to go daily...
20) I love a good thunderstorm :all day & all night:
21) I say a prayer every morning I wake up! :)
22) A visit to the zoo can cure any problem!
23) My mom & I butt heads more than anyone I know, but Id be lost without her. & my dad is my hero.
24) I believe I went through one of the hardest times in my life to help me grow as a person, gain strength, gain another best friend, && ::most importantly:: help others get through it!
25) I am smiling & laughing & talking way too much 98% of the time! Ahahahaha... I apologize in advance! [Really, just tell me to shut up!]
1) I learned of my passion for nursing while taking care of my grandparents the last few years of their lives. :) [Not a day goes by that they dont cross my mind time&time again.] I HAD THE GREATEST GRANDPARENTS IN THE UNIVERSE! =)
2) I dont have cable... So, abc.com is my one true addiction: Desperate Housewives, Greys, Bachelor, Brothers & Sisters, Private Practice, True Beauty... \\Im lame, I know this.\\
3) My newest addiction: One Tree Hill, baby.
4) I love eating the popcorn kernels that are slightly cracked open, but havent popped yet! Haha.
5) Guilty: Im a SPEEDER! Opppsie.
6) I have the most amazing friends in the world. I can count OVER 20 people that I can completely depend on with everything that I have. && they all mean ::mucho::
7) I would probably die without Olive Garden, 54th street, FAST EDDIES, && Bwws. [[No foolin]]
8) I'd be lost without church. & this year Ive found the most amazing church yet! =) Yah!
9) I've danced since age 4. =) Just part of being me! I miss all those crazy competitions & traveling all over creation with some of my besties!
10) The areas Im the most confident in: DANCE & NURSING && kickin tush, speakin out [Bahaha] & having an amazing future ahead.
11) I absolutely love where Im at in my life... & love the unknown, BUT knowing its gonna take me somewhere && take me far.
12) Music is my everything. My ipod has the most random 5,000 songs on it! Ahahaha.
13) I might have OCD when it comes to cleaning... If only I had more time.
14) Things that always brighten my day: scripture, church, prayer, dancin it all out, reading, driving around, SHOPPING, & VOLUNTEERING!
15) I love, love, love to read... Anything & everything (besides nursing textbooks.... Lol).
16) I worked as a CNA for almost 4 years... & I love the elderly [[They make some of the greatest friends.]] --> Having a job your proud of... is amazing.
17) I LOVE ANIMALS! [[Particularly, dogs, penguins, & horses.]]
18) I am very outspoken. Uh oh! & probably the MOST SPONTANEOUS person you will ever meet. I live for last minute trips & adventures!
19) The gym gets out all my aggression! =) I try to go daily...
20) I love a good thunderstorm :all day & all night:
21) I say a prayer every morning I wake up! :)
22) A visit to the zoo can cure any problem!
23) My mom & I butt heads more than anyone I know, but Id be lost without her. & my dad is my hero.
24) I believe I went through one of the hardest times in my life to help me grow as a person, gain strength, gain another best friend, && ::most importantly:: help others get through it!
25) I am smiling & laughing & talking way too much 98% of the time! Ahahahaha... I apologize in advance! [Really, just tell me to shut up!]
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
..x.God give me a moment's grace.x..
So much going on anymore, but so much to be thankful for & excited about. [Nursing school, volunteering - crisis nursery center & hospice, family, friends, fun in stl, random sledding til 5am, graduation in three semesters, the "real world", so many opportunities - in the area & in the field.]
Life's a busy place these days - but I learned a long time ago that stress is unwanted and without a doubt NOT necessary [to say the least]...
Idk. Ive found myself advising others a lot lately to "live for the moment." A long time ago, I was a planner. I wanted to be engaged by this age for this long, a job at this age, marriage at this time, kids by this time... work here, do this, have that. Well you know what, thats ludacris, unrealistic, and most importantly... BORING!
Sometimes its hard to realize, but life keeps happening while we're busy wasting it, planning our lives out. Everything will work out the way its supposed to, when its supposed to... It will fall into place.
It's just nice to be content... more like ecstatic... to have no idea what is going to happen, but to know it's gonna be wonderful. This future, my future... will be better than even I could have dreamed or even planned out. =)
Who would have imagined so much of who I used to be is so different than who I am now... But I guess we all grow up! && when we grow for the better, we can be proud of the changes we've made, the things we've accomplished [& will in the future], and the strength//happiness within us!
<3
Life's a busy place these days - but I learned a long time ago that stress is unwanted and without a doubt NOT necessary [to say the least]...
Idk. Ive found myself advising others a lot lately to "live for the moment." A long time ago, I was a planner. I wanted to be engaged by this age for this long, a job at this age, marriage at this time, kids by this time... work here, do this, have that. Well you know what, thats ludacris, unrealistic, and most importantly... BORING!
Sometimes its hard to realize, but life keeps happening while we're busy wasting it, planning our lives out. Everything will work out the way its supposed to, when its supposed to... It will fall into place.
It's just nice to be content... more like ecstatic... to have no idea what is going to happen, but to know it's gonna be wonderful. This future, my future... will be better than even I could have dreamed or even planned out. =)
Who would have imagined so much of who I used to be is so different than who I am now... But I guess we all grow up! && when we grow for the better, we can be proud of the changes we've made, the things we've accomplished [& will in the future], and the strength//happiness within us!
<3
Saturday, January 24, 2009
-- Simply Disconnected --
Dont have the time or energy to go into any detail these days, but tonight... the only way to describe how I feel is by using the word disconnected.
Have you ever felt like you were lacking a something vital that most others out there have.
Just some days I wonder, why && If you knew from the beginning that Id never even be good enough? Why you put on the smile for everyone else, but never make me feel worthy. Never open up & let me in & deal with the fact that Im my own person & very opinionated. && sometimes, downright ignore everything Im saying...
Is that what you want? Because sadly, Im stronger than even I thought possible && I know in the end youll beat yourself up for all the downfalls... But Ive tried time & time again. I wanna be civil & actually refuse to be anything but that... So until then, Im done pretending.
I guess its just, I keep asking God where I go wrong.... My prayers end up in me begging Him to show me what it is that I need to do differently... But only time will tell.
I just, wow, feel more disconnected after tonight... Than I ever have in my life. [But itll be over soon because Gods blessed me with amazing friends & I thank Him for them everyday!]
Until next time,
xoxo lost&confused.
Have you ever felt like you were lacking a something vital that most others out there have.
Just some days I wonder, why && If you knew from the beginning that Id never even be good enough? Why you put on the smile for everyone else, but never make me feel worthy. Never open up & let me in & deal with the fact that Im my own person & very opinionated. && sometimes, downright ignore everything Im saying...
Is that what you want? Because sadly, Im stronger than even I thought possible && I know in the end youll beat yourself up for all the downfalls... But Ive tried time & time again. I wanna be civil & actually refuse to be anything but that... So until then, Im done pretending.
I guess its just, I keep asking God where I go wrong.... My prayers end up in me begging Him to show me what it is that I need to do differently... But only time will tell.
I just, wow, feel more disconnected after tonight... Than I ever have in my life. [But itll be over soon because Gods blessed me with amazing friends & I thank Him for them everyday!]
Until next time,
xoxo lost&confused.
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