Dont have the time or energy to go into any detail these days, but tonight... the only way to describe how I feel is by using the word disconnected.
Have you ever felt like you were lacking a something vital that most others out there have.
Just some days I wonder, why && If you knew from the beginning that Id never even be good enough? Why you put on the smile for everyone else, but never make me feel worthy. Never open up & let me in & deal with the fact that Im my own person & very opinionated. && sometimes, downright ignore everything Im saying...
Is that what you want? Because sadly, Im stronger than even I thought possible && I know in the end youll beat yourself up for all the downfalls... But Ive tried time & time again. I wanna be civil & actually refuse to be anything but that... So until then, Im done pretending.
I guess its just, I keep asking God where I go wrong.... My prayers end up in me begging Him to show me what it is that I need to do differently... But only time will tell.
I just, wow, feel more disconnected after tonight... Than I ever have in my life. [But itll be over soon because Gods blessed me with amazing friends & I thank Him for them everyday!]
Until next time,
xoxo lost&confused.
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