Sometimes it's so hard to not focus on the bigger picture in life. When everything seems to be crashing down only because of one horrible situation... Needless to say, I've let the anxiety & depression get the best of me... All from being harassed. I tried acting like it didnt get to me, but let me tell you, it's not easy to pretend life is just grand when a few select people wake up everyday and have every intention to do whatever it is they can to ruin your life and bring you down in every way possible.
I guess I just have sucked it up for so long and held it all in that it started affecting my personality, friendships, and relationships. No one has deserved a single bit of my stresses to be brought upon them, and if it has... I am beyond terribly sorry. My tears are done... Why give people like that what they want? And whats more, what does it say about you if you get joy in being so cruel and making others cry? Idk.
Needless to say, I've sucked it up for so long... And started to let it suck some of the life out of me. But God is soooo good! I've finally talked to the right people & found out all my options... So if the deleting and blocking isnt enough of a hint... Then, I guess I will finally have to do something about all this. I just hate how pathetic it will make me look having to take action. But enough is enough. And all the instructors said it best... this harassment has gone on for way too long, another five months could drive me crazy. I cant suck it up anymore... simply because I shouldnt have to. We're not in middle school anymore.
I guess Im just venting and apologizing for not doing anything sooner... When every single person has been subjected to it all. Having to see and hear it all first hand...
On another note, I havent seen Joshua in ages & it's about to drive me mad... Haha. Talking on the phone just isnt enough sometimes. But boy am I oh so thankful for all that's been given to me this year.
I hope everyone has been doing amazing! [Church is great, my friends are freaking fabulous, Josh's church & family amaze me more every day, my younger brother brings tears to my eyes for how intelligent and how wise he is beyond his years, my parents are so understanding and always looking out for my best interests, and Joshua treats me better than I ever knew was possible for a man! ;) Life is amazing - I pray it is for each & every one of you as well!!! And I pray, unlike me, you remain so so thankful for the good in your life & NEVER let the bad things or sad people get the best of you!!!] <3
Until next time, sweet dreams, best wishes, & Merry Christmas!
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