So, pretending just isnt for me anymore. I dont know what to say, how to act, what to do, what to think. Im tired of acting like I know whats going on and Im in control and have a hold on things. This makes no sense. Nothing does anymore. Everything I say and do can be taken in a completely different way. Why cant things be black and white right now? Why am I hurting like this? Most of all, when did I start deserving this.
One of my amazing friends last night said, ya know what, maybe Gods just testing you. What made me the most upset was that I felt the need to say, "Then Im failing MISERABLY."
Im sick of time and pain, not knowing, confusion, complication, drama, tears, pain, heartache, disappointment, distrust, anguish, torment, games, fools, misunderstandings. And honestly, I just dont have the strength to do it anymore. End of story.
Anyways, a few random things...someone told me this morning they were sick of the guys that are always adding and looking up girls on facebook and myspace. And I just wanna shoutout - ME TOO! Ha. I guess I noticed someone this morning...has added about 25 girls since he's added ONE guy. Ha. I dunno, random. I guess guys add me sometimes, but I dunno. Maybe its because Im never the one to add people. I guess I think it looks desperate. So, of course I worry when someone adds about three girls EvErYday. Yeah, so what, it hurts my feelings too...whats new.
Welp, wanna hate all men on Earth? Watch The Last Kiss. Rarrr! Ha. Sorry for the anger this morning...I knew this week would be bad from the get go - and no, you cant change it, but please try.
Live, Laugh, Love - always...
And when someone puts up walls, please be strong and patient enough to break them down. If not for you, then for me...
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