Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Forever With You, Forever In Me

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From: Me [i tried].... To: Whoever wants to read [no critics]

I never knew as I lay there thinking about what life had become
that I would soon be somewhere in a world far away from my own.
The year ahead had something in store for me
much greater than anything I felt even remotely prepared for.

Looking back I can see the reasoning, the necessity.
Yet I truly thought at the time it would be the end of everything,
everything I had ever known or wanted for my life.
Oh looking back, I can see so much now, but not then.

But when thinking of those days - to being young and naive,
not having a care or worry in the world that even begins to compare
to what I was about to go endure and fight my way through.
It was the end of adolescence, and the beginning of so much more.

I was sent in a whirlwind, spinning out of control.
I felt lost and hopeless and helpless, most of all, alone.
Shaking, I heard words that I never thought I could comprehend.
Yet I did; day by day, I grew, I learned, and I am far better because of it.

Similar to a roller coaster without an end, my life had turned.
Like it or not, I lost people I loved. Some to death, others to heartache.
But you see, Gods plan is bigger than you and me.
My fate lays solely in His hands.

Some days I wonder and lose myself in pointless thought,
wondering what I can do or say to be with the one I love,
Then I realize I am no longer able to rationalize things like I used to,
I cant run to the greatest witnesses of Gods love for strength and hope.

You see, they are up in Heaven rejoicing with the one and only.
I cant imagine all they are doing and saying and thinking and singing.
But I know they want whats best for me and for me to do what is right.
And whats best doesn't include worrying about things beyond control.

"...God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..."

Let me just say...thank the Lord...2007 is over. And I don't think I would be here today if it weren't for my momma pushing me, making me, molding me, praying, encouraging, and just listening and trying to understand. I realize they say "mothers know best." I just thank God daily that my mom is not a bit two-faced or a gossip - she is real! She was there when I had no one and was at the lowest in my life. I will forever be in debt to her. <3






so we both look terrible in this picture, but my momma was fried and we were dead tired on vaca, plus, its the first one i found on here! =)

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