So Much for Sleep

I just don't know about much of anything right now. What I do know is that some day, some day I will be a great nurse, a wonderful mother, and a very devoted wife. And for knowing that, being certain of that, I am thankful. I would say that I cant wait for those days to get here, but honestly, waiting is half the fun and excitement.

Anyways, I tend to worry about my friends when they're going through something - so, I leave my phone on throughout the night during times when I just might be needed. Well, of course, tonight, no one feels the need to leave me alone. Any other night, I might laugh and joke about all the random people and all the random, hilarious conversations Ive had. However, Its Saturday, and I need church right now about as much as I need sleep. And, most importantly, I want to be able to wake up and get ready for church. As a matter of fact, I plan on trying a new church out tomorrow morning. Yeah, I know I'm going alone, but that's alright with me. I was going to a different church, but well...haha, like many things in my life right now, that backfired when two different people asked me to go to the same one. Yikes. Nonetheless, I need church - end of story!

Well, well. Here goes me being very vague, saying whatever has been on my mind and comes to mind. Too many people - wanting more than I do. Busy, busy life. Complete chaos. Leading on. Too many compliments. Not knowing what to do. The unknown. Scared. Hopeless. Options. Confidence regained. Satisfaction. Happiness. Temptation. Finally knowing I was good enough. Fear. Failure. Success. Love. Lose. Heaven. Joy. Despair. Missing my grandparents. Wondering whats to come for me. Will I face betrayal again. Can I trust completely. Why is forgiving easier than forgetting. Being proud of forgetting. No grudges. Making improvement. Why cant they all just want to be friends....

Ha. I know. Nonsense, and take from that what you wish. I must say even though I have been kept awake tonight, it has been yet again, a very flattering night. Bragging, not at all. Laughing, hysterically. Tonight, I have had three proposals, along with a few I love yous. All kidding, of course. I just love my friends, and yeah, I think they are amazing too. But they're crazy for thinking I am. I mean, come on, I really thought they knew me better than that, especially since Ive been honest and myself with every single soul that I've met these past few months. HaHa.

Oh well. Its 3am, and people are drunk. And the phone keeps ringing & beeping - It's times like these when I wish I could have neat ringtones to play my favorite song to me all night. Well, I sure hope my friend knows how much I care about her. If I didn't, this phone would be on SILENT! Love you and good night.


"Id rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."